Stormy Times - March 2011 Issue of The House

It’s hilarious, really. This fall, we “paved” a flowerbed with concrete stones we made with some mix and a mold, as we decided we wanted to put big pots and solar lights there instead of tulips and roses. Looked just fine, we thought. Then, the bluebells decided to come out. And come out, they have, pushing sections of concrete stone out of their little way, forcing their shoots and leaves to the air and light.

I was thinking of the March issue of The House being about stormy times that deepen our roots in our faith and make us stronger – spiritually, emotionally, and psychologically. When our fall and winter has been as wet as the past months have been, Western Washington people seem to really be watching closely for any sunny day, any sign of Spring.

And the “winter months” of our spiritual journey, the stormy times, can help us, if we let them, to get more deeply into the Word; find a friend with whom to talk about our walk, if we don’t have one already; ask God to show us where we need to grow; study a book like Crazy Love, or Making All Things New; or look for ways to serve others, as Jesus taught us to do in response to His Love for us.

When my daughter, Susan, was very young, she began singing for church. I think she was two years old the first time she sang for service. One of the songs she sang was “Little Flowers Never Worry”. The words are:

“Little flowers never worry
When the wind begins to blow.
And they never, never cry
When the rain begins to fall.

Though it’s wet and oh so cold,
Soon the sun will shine again.
Then they’ll smile unto the world,
For their beauty to behold.

When the clouds begin to gather
And the storm begins to blow,
Little flowers don’t complain,
Though they’re tossing to and fro.

Oh, I guess they’ve learned the secret,
They don’t fret because they know,
If it never, never rained,
Then they’d never, never grow.

So, let it rain, let it rain, let it pour,
Let old trouble keep knock’n at my door,
If we learn the right from wrong,
It will help to make us strong.

Lord, please help us learn the secret,
Even little flowers know,
If it never, never rains
Then we’ll never, never grow.”

_Beth Bernard

As March winds blow, and April comes with showers (more rain?!!?!?), let’s ask God to help us grow deeper in our faith, put down roots in practical ways, and celebrate with Him every evidence of His Love blossoming in our hearts and lives. Keep shoving against those “stones”!

Don’t be shy! We NEED to hear from you! Please write to us and share your thoughts and experiences in walking the Walk, and especially, practical ways you are “putting down roots”.

Send your thoughts, questions, ideas, book recommendations and experiences to: hagle54@gmail.com, or Mary Hagle c/o EHA, 1405 East Burcham Street, Kelso WA 98626.

We grow as we share . . .

Mary Hagle

Editor

“The House”

The Process of Finding A Mentor

By: Steve Jones

Sometime in 2009 Pastor Nick’s message was on mentoring. He discussed how important it is for Christian brothers and sisters to have someone in their life who can help grow their relationship with Jesus Christ. As someone just returning to the church and a relationship with Jesus, I understood this importance. Finding that person to work with took longer than I had hoped.

My search for a mentor during the next year was casual at best. There are many good men at East Hills Alliance who have and display a strong faith. The relationship with a mentor is what is important to me. They must understand and appreciate each other. Each person must be patient and listen to the other.

Recently, a casual conversation with a co-worker revealed that I was a Christian. He asked some questions about speaking in tongues. When I mentioned this to Tom Hight, he suggested we meet for a Bible study. We met at East Hills on the Thursday prior to his passing. This was the only one-on-one meeting Tom and I would have. As we parted that afternoon, we stood in the cold air talking about how we should get together again. We gave brotherly hugs and parted.

The following Sunday after church service I was standing in the aisle speaking with a mother who was asking me to mentor her young son in a Scout project. As we spoke someone walked by and gave me a hip bump. I turned to see Tom looking back at me. We smiled at each other as only good friends or brothers can do. I was so excited. I knew at that moment Tom Hight was my mentor.

The news of Tom’s passing came Tuesday, and I was devastated. This was the same day I was to meet with my young Scout friend. I knew Tom would want me to continue. As I met with my young friend, I kept thinking, "What would Tom do?" "What would Tom say?" Suddenly being a good mentor had taken on great importance.

Tom’s sudden passing meant our mentoring relationship had ended before it had hardly begun. Or had it? Much of the past week has been spent thinking about Tom. He was so happy to see me return to church. Tom always listened to my stories of my Christian growth. He was always happy to see me. We spoke often about a very good friend of mine with whom Tom had worked for thirty years. He always encouraged me to be active in the church. It is now obvious to me that Tom was mentoring me all along. The importance of this is not lost on me.

Pastor Nick and Pastor Caleb have asked each us to have a mentor and to become mentors. Those of us who accept God’s challenge need to look no further for an example than the man who greeted us each Saturday and Sunday service. Tom’s father-in-law called him, "The most Godly man I know." Pastor Nick spoke of Tom as a great man and how others must step forward to fill the void. It is important for me to accept the challenges of leading and mentoring. Tom Hight wouldn’t have it any other way.

A Mentor To Lean On In Tough Times

It was through reading the book, Touchdown Alexander, the story about the Seattle Seahawk running back Shaun Alexander and his experiences as a Christian that

I first contemplated finding a mentor who could support me in my own journey with God.

He writes about his pastor, who encouraged his parishioners to have a mentor, a protégé and encourager in their life. As I began to pray and ask God for help to find a mentor, He gave me a surprisingly quick answer. I knew I needed someone who was a godly example; someone I could trust. He needed to be someone that I could be honest with and respected enough to heed his advice. Tom Hight fit the criteria.

I hadn't spent any time with Tom outside of church, but every time I spoke with Tom or watched him at church, I saw a man who cared about people and was doing his best to serve God. So I approached Tom one night following a Monday Night Live meeting to see if he would be interested in joining me in this special relationship. I was a little nervous, again, not knowing him very well. As it turned out, he was so gracious and suggested we meet and get to know one another first. From that first meeting to the last (which occurred the Wednesday before he passed away) I knew God had his hand in bringing us together. In one of the most challenging years of my life, I had a mentor and friend to look to for wise counsel and support.

Little did I know that God's timing, as usual, was going to be perfect. Three months into our regular meetings, my younger brother, Craig, died of a heart attack at 38 years of age. As a family, we had celebrated his birthday earlier that very day. Craig was my only sibling. So while I grieved the loss of my brother, I tried to be there for my sister-in-law Teresa, my three nephews and niece, my parents and my own family. Thankfully, Tom was a constant support with his prayers and encouragement. He and Ann attended the memorial service down in Vancouver, where I spoke about my brother and what he meant to me.

I leaned on Tom as he kindly reminded me of God's strength and love.

I so appreciated the fact that God knew I was going to need a mentor more than ever and that Tom was willing to serve in that role for me.

There were other difficult situations I faced during the fifteen months I spent with Tom. With each one, he consistently listened, empathized, and offered words of encouragement and wisdom from the Bible. Whenever I told Tom how much I appreciated our relationship, he would say the feeling was mutual. Even though I was the one being mentored, I would ask him how his life was going and what I could pray about for him. I was honored that he trusted me enough to allow me to be a part of his life. This demonstrated how mentors are human too. Humility, when practiced in front of others, is a powerful testimony of what God can do through us.

Through my relationship with Tom I gained a deeper understanding of the verse found in James 4:10,

"Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord, and he will lift you up"

My respect for Tom grew as he showed his humanity and dependence on God.

I will cherish the time I had with Tom Hight as my mentor and dear friend. I am a better man and a stronger Christian for having known him. The lessons I learned I will forever remember and proudly pass on if ever asked to be a mentor to someone else someday. I hadn't anticipated gaining a friend by having a mentor, but what a wonderful and blessed byproduct of having one! I have come to believe that only when someone is willing to become a friend can he become an effective mentor. If you do not yet have a mentor in your life, I strongly encourage you to find one. I guarantee you will not regret it.

-Mike Mendenhall

A Mentor Named Tom

By: Cameron McKinney　

Tom was my Mentor. We met on Wednesdays every other week at Starbucks. We started out just getting to know one another over several weeks, sharing family backgrounds, how we met our spouses and how we came to know and follow Jesus Christ.

　　　　 He was the one I would talk to if I was having family struggles or had questions on Godly parenting. Tom was always encouraging and never had a judgmental response to anything I shared. He was an excellent example of what a godly man is and should be.

　　　　 I know when someone dies, people "come out of the woodwork" to say all kinds of good things about them even if they didn't really know them. However, with Tom, he had a way of impacting everyone　he came into contact with.　

Tom was the man I want to become. He was generous, kind and always willing to help or listen. Tom was a righteous man and full of Godly wisdom.

　　　　 There was a time when one of my children had a bit of an "error in judgment" and Tom offered some advice that most likely saved me from making a very serious parenting mistake. His advice also　preserved my child’s dignity, saving them from further humiliation, while restoring them to a place where they could have continued positive influences and be able to rebuild trust. Because　I followed Tom's Godly advice, that child felt the freedom to repent and not repeat the same unwise choices.

　　　　 　I miss Tom and can't wait to see him on the other side. Knowing he is with our precious LORD and SAVIOR brings great comfort. Yet I must confess to being envious of who he gets to keep company with, "Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses". I'm truly excited for him. I imagine him dozing off in his EZ-chair,　then waking up and the first　thing he sees is "THE SON of THE LIVING GOD, JESUS THE CHRIST" our Master and　King, surrounded by ten thousand times ten thousands of　His angels and the great cloud of witnesses. WOW!!! AWESOME!!!　 I can't wait to join him. "Soon and very soon we are going to see the King"! Amen

　

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　

An Interview With George & Tricia Salas

Bio-Notes . . . Tricia Salas had her first conversion experience at about the age of ten, during the time her grandparents were taking her to church with them. At about thirteen she kind of fell away from a relationship with God. She has been coming to the Easter service at Kelso High for the last four years, and she and George had been talking with Ann Hight for about two years about marriage and parenting their son, George.

Tricia made the decision to return to her faith in Jesus this past November, and George followed in December, surrendering his life to God for the first time.

Both George and Tricia grew up in California and finished high school there. They have made Longview/Kelso their home for the last six years. George works with Steve & Cheryl Mazzuca at Grocery Outlet, grateful for the kind of employers they are, and Tricia is the manager at the Kelso Safeway Starbucks. She enjoys interacting with people, so it’s a good fit for her. They have a delightful little boy we met for the first time during this interview, named George after his father.

They don’t seem to have a lot of free time, but they do enjoy "hanging" together, and are working on developing a time of reading the Bible together. They like watching movies, and George is busy with on-line marketing. They are also trying to establish a time of praying together, and for Tricia, the experience of "talking to God all day" is new, but great. She wants to get past the "don’t have time . . . I’ll do it later" aspect of Bible study and prayer with George, but they’re definitely "working on it"!

Tricia has started reading Five Love Languages, about learning a simple way to express feelings and bring joy back into marriage, and George has been reading bits of a book about Christian persecution and the hardships of being a Christian, during his lunch break at work.

The House: As we talked about, the February issue of The House is focused on Mentoring, and particularly, the relationships that grew out of knowing and talking with Tom Hight. I know you told me that wasn’t directly true for you, but that he did influence your spiritual journey. Can you tell us more about how that’s true for you?

Tricia: I only had brief conversations with Tom when I came into Celebration Services every weekend. He was always at the back of the church, always asked me about my week, always asked about George, even when he wasn’t with me. But . . . the counseling George and I have been doing with Ann is based on the relationship she and Tom shared, and the way they raised their children.

She talked to us always about how they loved one another, and how forgiving and loving Tom was. One example she used was what she called "the gas fairy" because she would go to bed knowing she needed gas in her car, and when she got to her car to go to the church, Tom would have taken her car and filled the tank for her.

One phrase Ann repeats often sticks in my mind: "Love is kind".

An example of Tom and Ann’s parenting style was splitting responsibilities. Ann would wait for Tom to take care of the part he was responsible for when he got home from work. They respected what the other brought to their parenting relationship.

One funny story is how, when they were newly married, Ann thought it would be funny to pour water on Tom. She told me he got so mad, and she had never seen him mad. She said she was afraid he was going to leave. She said he hadn’t ever gotten that mad again, but she never threw water on him again either!

How well they lived their life together has really impressed upon me how important it is. My dad died when I was fifteen. I never had the opportunity to experience what it would have been like to have parents like Tom and Ann, but I want to base all my relationships on their example.

The House: George, you have been chiming in to agree with Tricia all along the way tonight. Do you have something to add?

George: Just that there were so many people who would say, "I need to know what to do in this situation. I think I’ll go talk to Tom. He will know the best thing to do." I want to be like him.

My Friend Dave, a Mentor

By: Nick Stumbo

As a high school student, I was pretty sure the world revolved around me. Most of us live with that delusion for awhile. (Some of us for far too long!) I would like to tell you about a mentor and friend I had at that time. His name was Dave. Dave was a boisterous, quirky twenty-something who did ministry at our church and was a local substitute teacher. Dave was single. Dave sometimes said the wrong thing and inadvertently offended people. And for some reason, Dave wanted to be my friend.

Dave would find ways to include me in just about everything he did. Dave and I performed puppet shows together for kid’s church and walked in community parades as clowns. I went car shopping with Dave and hung out with him while he ran errands. Dave introduced me to unique ethnic foods and showed up at all my basketball games to take pictures. Most of my high-school teammates thought he worked for the newspaper and were rather shocked to find out he was just there to take pictures of me.

And all along the way, Dave shared his life with me. He talked of his struggles and his joys. He told me what he thought about God and what he believed God thought about Him. At no point in this friendship can I remember Dave telling me that he was trying to mentor me, but trying or not, he did. He invited me to learn about life and faith with him. As I look back, this friendship had a more significant impact on my life than any other relationship outside of the one with my parents.

This month, we are focusing on the topic of mentoring. I know that many of you reading this article are on the lookout for a godly mentor in your life. But the thought of becoming a mentor intimidates you. You wonder if you have what it takes; if you’re close enough to God. Let me encourage you from my experience. Dave made a difference in my life, not because he was godly, but because he wanted to be godly. Dave helped me grow, not because he had it all together, but because he opened his life to God and others. Dave taught me about God and faith, not because he knew all the right answers, but because he showed me how to ask the right questions and wrestle in faith with the realities of life.

And now, I believe in you because Dave believed in me. If you will pursue God with your whole heart, faltering though your steps may be, that very journey is what God will use to touch and change the lives of others. So get on the pursuit! And invite someone to join you along the way. You never know; you just might become their mentor.

Mentoring. Walking alongside. Friendship

What is the value to us in one life lived in a side-by-side relationship with the Creator of the Universe? As I considered focusing on love for the February newsletter, something held me back. I didn’t have romantic love in mind. Certainly Hallmark and flower shops have the corner on that market, in many ways.

I was thinking instead of one of the loves Lewis discusses in The Four Loves: Friendship. We may still yet come back to the subject of love in a later issue of The House. Lewis’ is not a simple idea. Like most of his observations, there are many twists and turns and "attic rooms" to take captive our minds and imaginations. What was sticking in my mind about love is his statement about Friendship: "What have all these ’unconcerning things, matters of fact’ to do with the real question, Do you see the same truth?.

This question is the base, for Lewis, of Friendship.

Then came the loss of such a true friend as Tom Hight. And on the heels of his memorial service, the Celebration Service message about Mentorship. The rapidity of it all took our breath away. But, it’s no surprise, really, where God took us. This issue of The House is about Mentoring, and most particularly, the Mentoring some of us were privileged to experience from Tom. And how he asked Lewis’ question: Do you see the same truth?

Thank you so much, those of you who were willing to share your experiences with Tom, and what it meant to be mentored by him. Yet another gift from his life: an example for us all as we follow our pastor’s invitation to ask God to show us whom we might mentor, and be mentored by.

　　　　- Mary Hagle